Many things I cannot convey. Even writing it down in this text, I feel unable to do so.
About the happy news from someone I heard tonight. It is no longer something surprising because in the past few days, I have seen and had a feeling that this happy news would come.
I am not someone who is good at expressing what fills my emotions and mind, especially in words by my mouth. When happiness and emotion intertwine, which is closely related to my emotional side, I will choose to stay silent. Because if I speak and express what I feel, I will cry.
Although I know that crying is not something wrong…
My mind wanders, going back to memories just as I felt tens of years ago when I was still in the third grade of elementary school. At that time, I was at a boarding school, knowing that my sister, who was the only one taking care of me and replacing our mother’s role throughout my time at the boarding school, would get married. I would lose her.
Just a little different from this moment now… I am a bit more mature and understand the situation.
I am very happy with this news. I no longer need to worry when she has to go through all of that alone. Because now, there is someone who will always be there and accompany her in all conditions. Someone who will be her companion in worship for her whole life.
Although I cannot deny that there is a feeling of sadness knowing that there will be no more scolding for my carelessness, my lack of tidiness in taking care of myself and the house. No more cooking soup together on weekends. No more moments of having dinner together at the table, sharing all the activities I have done throughout the day, talking about the office and friends. In the future, it will be difficult to find time to tell her about all the problems I am experiencing.
But it’s okay… feeling sad is natural at the beginning. I just need to adapt and get used to it. ☺️🍻
Thank you for everything that has been given to me. Despite my limited thinking, sometimes finding it difficult to accept that all good things, you have a good purpose to me.
Your presence has successfully replaced the role of a family and made me feel like I have a very supportive family for all my dreams.
Thank you for being a friend and an older sister who always patiently deals with me, full of flaws and immaturity. Also, for providing guidance and other good things that have become the foundation for me to live this life.
Thank you for giving me many opportunities to be with an entity that we have been nurturing together until now.
Lastly… I am grateful for all the patience given to me and our team. Giving us space to learn without being judged about anything. Thank you because your presence, amidst the busyness, always gives us new insights and spirits to keep growing.
Honestly
Hoam
